Marvel Reviews: Eternals

I made my first trip to a movie theater after two years of staying home to watch the new Eternals movie, so I thought I’d give a quick review.

Eternals

Rating: C-

The Eternals movie seems like a good opportunity to mention a modification I may need to make my movie ranking system. (Full explanation of my ranking system is here.) See, I know a lot of people freak out when I rank a movie as C (Average,) because common opinion is that “average” means “bad”. Or if I rank something as C, it means I didn’t like it.

But actually I kind of like Eternals. I will probably watch it again when it hits the streaming services. I just recognize that it’s not really an important film. It’s competently made. Well, mostly competent. I did have to give it a minus for a couple flaws. But there’s really no reason to either recommend or recommend against seeing it. It’s just a movie.

The flaws are that the film drags in places and lacks enthusiasm in others. Plus, one actor issue I’ll mention later. The film really needs to be short or at least move along quicker.

Further thoughts:

• Too many new main characters for one film, so we really don’t get a feel for any of them.
• Rather than cut some of the characters, I think this really should have been two movies.
  • First movie focuses on the apparent threat from the Deviants and only involves Ajak, Sersi, Ikaris, Sprite, Gilgamesh, and Thena. It ends with Sersi contacting Arishem.
  • Second movie adds Kingo, Druig, Phastos, and Makkari, and explores more about Kro while also switching to the Emergence plotline.
• Splitting it into two movies allows us to explore more about Sersi, who seems to be our POV character in the film, but we really don’t get to know her well enough. All of the characters are treated pretty superficially, and only Sprite, Kingo, Phastos and Thena really stand out.
• Most reviewers, even if they give the movie a thumbs down, say the entire cast does a great job. I have to rewatch the film because I had a very different feeling: I kept thinking the Druig character was a pretty poor performance. Maybe I missed something.

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WandaVision: Inspiration for Episode 1

I’ve watched the first two episodes of the new Marvel Cinematic Universe TV series on Disney+, WandaVision. Not sure yet if I will do a review of that yet, although that would be a ways down the road. Need to watch a few more episodes.

But some friends and I were having a discussion: Which sitcom is closest to the first episode?

Without getting into spoilers, the first two episodes of WandaVision are designed to look like classic TV sitcoms. The second episode is obviously patterned after Bewitched, and not just because of the animated opening. The layout of the house is practically identical: staircase facing the front door, living room to the right, sliding glass doors on far wall of living room, dining room behind the stairs to the left with door to kitchen. Wanda’s clothes match Samantha’s '60s style, and even the theme of that episode reflects typical themes in Bewitched.

The first episode has a very different style. Some people have compared it to The Dick Van Dyke Show, but I think that’s a very poor fit for a couple reasons:

• House layout is missing the infamous ottoman that Dick trips over in the opening credits.
• Also, there’s a window opposite the “fourth wall”.
• Wanda wears a '50s style dress, not Laura’s '60s style capri pants and top.
• Theme doesn’t feel like DVD, which is usually not about miscommunication between wife and husband.

I’d almost compare it to I Love Lucy, but again that show has a very different feel because of Ricky’s job at the club and Lucy’s obsession with being in show business. Also, the front door in Lucy is directly opposite the “fourth wall”, with windows on the left, while WV episode 1 has the front door on the left and windows opposite the “fourth wall”.

What it reminds me of are '50s sitcoms about childless newlywed couples, where the plots revolve around a husband trying to get used to his quirky bride. But I’ve only seen clips of shows like I Married Joan, Life With Elizabeth, or The Donna Reed Show, and only have vague knowledge of Lucille Ball’s pre-ILL show My Favorite Husband, so I don’t know how well those match.

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Review Updates

... Or the lack of them, rather. 

I didn't have much to say today about RPGs, and I took a break from watching Star Wars stuff, so instead I'll just mention some things I have previously reviewed that might need updates.

Star Trek: Lower Decks

Did finish the season, not many more laughs than already noted. The rating still stands: only watch if you really have nothing else to do and want new Star Trek.

Star Trek: Discovery

I know the new season started, and I watched one or two episodes, but haven't felt the need to watch more. I'll get around to it eventually.

Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.

Did finish the final season. It was one of the better seasons and I'm mostly satisfied with the way that ended. I don't think I'll change the rating of the series as a whole, however. It's a solid B, and that's nothing to sneer at.

Marvel Reviews: Helstrom

Last month, a new Hulu streaming series tied to the Marvel Cinematic Universe was released, the first new Marvel content in a long time. I didn’t get a chance to watch it when it was released, because I was still finishing up the movies. But now that I have the time…

Full explanation of my ranking system is here. Summary: C is average, A/B is recommended, D is badly made, F is something to avoid.

Helstrom

Rating: B-

This series was meant to be part of a more horror-oriented offshoot of the MCU, along with a Ghost Rider series that has since been cancelled. I’m guessing it’s also going to be the last Hulu MCU series, because of office politics at Disney. So, Helstrom is not related to the other Hulu MCU series (Runaways) or to Cloak & Dagger. It’s also pretty much cut off from the rest of the MCU. with the only tie-in (again) being Roxxon… or, at least, the Internet claims they mentioned Roxxon, but I certainly didn’t spot the reference.

The Helstroms are fighting demons, both literal and metaporical, while uncovering truths about their family’s past and repairing their relationships. That’s about as much as I can say without spoiling anything. The feel of the series is close to a superserious horror film, or to Supernatural or Buffy the Vampire Slayer during one of their bleak and depressing moments. Imagine taking one of those shows, removing almost all the humor and the “monster of the week”, and just focusing on a single story for ten episodes.

It’s… good, but slow. Especially the fourth or fifth episode, when they suddenly realized "Hey, we forgot to explain the backstory. And there’s nothing surprising about the last few episodes. I think the series might have been better if there were two or three episodes with their own story. Not quite “monster of the week”, not quite "one conflict stretched out over ten episodes, but something in between.

On the plus side, once I realized Daimon Helstrom was the character I remembered as Son of Satan and remembered how ridiculous his costume was, I was glad this show depicts him more naturally, sort of like a John Constantine rather than a bare chest and spandex kind of guy armed with a pitchfork. Although there are hints of that near the end.

I had a tough time deciding if this was an average show with some standout moments that raise it above a C, or a better-quality show hampered by streaming series production values and a very cliché approach to the story. Eventually, I settled on the B- side, but keep in mind how close a call it was before deciding to watch it.

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Marvel Reviews: MCU Teen Shows

In addition to ABC and Netflix, Marvel did a couple other MCU series aimed at a younger audience: one on Hulu, one on the Freeform cable network. I think hardly anyone has seen this, since there’s been nowhere near as much promotion as for the Netflix shows.

I don’t think my reviews are going to change that.

(There’s also a second series on Hulu that was just released last month, Helstrom, but as far as I know, that’s not related in theme or target audience to these two. I haven’t seen it yet, but will be reviewing it later.)

Full explanation of my ranking system is here. Summary: C is average, A/B is recommended, D is badly made, F is something to avoid.

Runaways

Rating: C+

Marvel’s Runaways is a streaming service show, only available on Hulu, which explains why no one has seen it. It’s about a group of teens, some with powers, some with gadgets, who run away when they discover their parents are up to some horrible crap and are, basically, crime bosses. This is mostly intended to appeal to people who like YA rebel stories, like The Hunger Games, Divergent, Mazerunner, or Mortal Engines.

My main thought during the entire first season was “When do these kids actually run away?” Because SPOILERS, they don’t run away until the very last scene of the very last episode of the first season. And they really should have run away earlier, not just because it’s part of the title, or even because what’s actually going on around them is so terrible. You basically only need one episode to set up the conflict between the parents and one or two episodes where some of the kids still need convincing. Everything else could be handled after the kids run away. It would have been far more tense and the pace would have been much faster if the show had been done that way.

It’s not a bad show, just average, but there are a couple good scenes in there. And, unlike the Netflix shows, there’s more superpowers and superscience. There’s even less tie-in to the rest of the MCU, though, except for some cross-over episodes in Season Three with Cloak & Dagger. It’s mostly just a couple corporate names, like Roxxon. If you watched this without knowing every tiny bit of MCU trivia, you wouldn’t even know it’s a Marvel story. There is a possible tiny hint of a connection to Doctor Strange in the third season, just based on some Strange-style magic being cast.

Cloak & Dagger

Rating: C

Unlike the Runaways, I had actually heard of Cloak & Dagger because they shared Strange Tales vol. 2 with Doctor Strange. The only stories I remember, though, were “Cloak meets Dazzler” and “Dagger meets Black Cat”. It’s basically another teen-oriented show, although less about rebellion or even love, more about growing up.

Cloak & Dagger suffers from the same disease as Runaways and the Netflix shows: very slow plot development, very slow mastery of their powers. I didn’t really feel anything stood out as higher quality in the series, although I did like the second season a little more than the first. Again, the only tie-ins to the rest of the MCU are miscellaneous names like Roxxon. There isn’t even a tie-in to Runaways; I think one was planned, but the series was cancelled before they got to that point.

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Marvel Reviews: MCU Netflix Shows

Soon after Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. debuted, Netflix got the rights to do their own Marvel hero shows. But as I mentioned at the start of the reviews for the broadcast TV shows, there’s a distinct difference in quality and approach between the ABC shows and the Netflix shows. Still, some of them are worth watching at least a couple seasons, so I’ll review them.

Full explanation of my ranking system is here. Summary: C is average, A/B is recommended, D is badly made, F is something to avoid.

Daredevil

Rating: B-

One thing you are going to notice about the Netflix shows is that they are very “punchy”. OK, that’s not entirely true… there’s a lot of kicking, too, and even some knives and guns. The enemies are almost all just ordinary criminals. It gives the Netflix shows a much more mundane feel than even the Captain America movies.

Daredevil is probably the punchiest and kickiest of them all. Yes, even including Iron Fist. It’s not that bad in the first season, though, so you might want to consider watching just that. If you findo out you enjoy it and decide to continue, you will probably want to watch The Defenders before watching Season 3 of Daredevil, although you can get by without watching anything else.

One other thing to note about the Netflix shows is that for some reason Netflix said “We really want to be part of this huge MCU craze, but we don’t want our heroes and their world to interact with the rest of the MCU very much, if at all.” There are casual mentions of a couple things that happen in the movies, but really nothing in the movies impacts what happens in any Netflix series, although they do interact with each other.

A lot of people are going to blame the death of the Netflix branch on the quality of specific shows, or Netflix’s typical lack of commitment beyond two or three seasons, or on Marvel’s behind-the-scenes changes. But really, shouldn’t the primary blame be that one, really dumb decision right at the beginning?

Jessica Jones

Rating: B+

This series is probably the best of the Netflix shows simply because of its attitude. Jessica Jones is so different from any other MCU hero because she’s so bitter and just plain ticked off about everything and really doesn’t like the fact she has powers, but she keeps using them anyways. The first season villain is also the most interesting of all the Netflix villains, although Kingpin from Daredevil is well done, too.

Later seasons of Jessica Jones aren’t as good, although they may still be worth it for a couple bright moments.

Luke Cage

Rating: B+

The first season of Luke Cage is probably my second favorite, after Season 1 of Jessica Jones. Again, it’s because of attitude. Neither Jessica nor Luke use an alias or hide their identity, but Luke also doesn’t hide much of what he’s doing. Everyone in Harlem knows who he is, where he is, and what he’s doing by at least Episode 4, but they keep the cops and anyone outside of Harlem out of it, either because they want to deal with Luke themselves or approve of what he’s doing.

After the first season, though, the show loses some of its specialness. I don’t think they really had a good idea what to do with the character after that, other than have him suffer angst. The storytelling suffered from that point on.

Iron Fist

Rating: C

Lots of people complain about Danny being a whiner. I suppose he whines a bit after the first episode, although I think the dull story is a bigger reason to dislike this show more than the others.

But the biggest problem with Iron Fist, as well as the other Netflix shows, is the fact that it’s designed like a Netflix show. Netflix knows people like to binge watch, so their “originals” are designed to maximize bingeing, by which I mean that the plot is strrrrrrretched out enormously. Everything moves horribly slowly, and most episodes are basically one to three good moments padded out with a lot of dullness. Daredevil gets away with this a bit because he has a really well-done internal conflict. Jessica Jones and Luke Cage get away with it because they have entertaining characters. But Danny isn’t very deep – ironic, considering all the mystical martial arts trappings – and he’s not entertaining. You don’t enjoy watching him react to what’s going on in the world, so you start to notice how dull the plot seems.

The Defenders

Rating: C

When I first heard the Defenders was going to be in the MCU, I thought “Great! That means they are also going to bring in Valkyrie! And Doctor Strange will have more than just one movie!”

Some of you are going “Hunh?” But others can see what the problem is going to be.

The first Defenders comic was about a loose team of heroes and/or supermisfits, mostly supernatural-themed like Son of Satan or Doctor Strange, but with other outcast heroes that didn’t fit in elsewhere, like occasionally the Hulk (post Avengers) or Valkyrie. I had an issue as a kid. I bought it because it had The Thing as a guest star and Doc Strange on the cover. I never learned much about them, but liked it and wanted to see more.

Apparently there was another Defenders team later that was just an all-punchy, gritty crimefighting team. And this is what they were actually planning: a crossover series for their punchiest, grittiest heroes.

It’s really not that interesting a story, but not terrible, either. Just average. Only one thing of any importance happens, which is why you probably don’t want to watch this before you’ve watched two seasons of Daredevil and the first season of each of the other shows listed above.

The Punisher

Rating: C

I really don’t like the Punisher. Haven’t since I first saw him in some Spider-Man crossover with… Moon-Knight? Daredevil? I don’t even remember. I just remember the comic had the blurb “And PUNISHER Makes Three!”

Obviously, part of my dislike is because he’s a more action-oriented character, with no powers, fighting other people with no powers. He’s not even a hero, he’s an anti-hero. The dark and brooding, violent loner, back before that archetype was everywhere in action hero and superhero country. I’ve suggested before that I have problems with some of the implications of superheroes, and The Punisher basically takes those implications and makes them explicit. He’s a guy who murders anyone he thinks is bad, and we’re supposed to admire him for some reason.

Still, although I didn’t see anything special about Season 1 of the streaming series, I didn’t find anything bad about it, either, other than the usual Netflix dull, draggy presentation style. It’s average. I never watched Season 2, because I figured it was just going to be more of the same: I already didn’t like the character, didn’t enjoy his story so far, and didn’t like the way Netflix designs shows for bingeing instead of savoring, so why would I put myself through more of that?

My recommendation is that if you like shooty, broody, anti-heroes, try out Daredevil Season 2 to find out if you like their version of Frank Castle, then try Season 1 of The Punisher, and proceed on to Season 2 if you feel satisfied. But if you’re just looking for Marvel material, you can probably skip this.

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Essential Marvel Cinematic Universe Watch List

Some people probably don’t want to read all my reviews of the Marvel Cinematic Universe movies. They just want a list of what’s essential, so they can get the gist of the entire scope and story, or fill in gaps in what they’ve seen with only the best parts.

In the list below, I’ve only counted A- or A movies plus a handful of B-/B grade movies that tell important parts of the story. You can in theory skip all the movies below A- except Avengers: Infinity War if you want to keep things short.

(In a sense, this list is a spoiler, not for the MCU storyline itself, but for ratings in reviews I haven’t posted yet. But the streaming shows and cable shows don’t really interact much with the movies, so they wouldn’t be essential, anyways.)

1. Captain America: The First Avenger (B)
2. The Avengers (B-)
3. Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 1 (A-)
4. Ant-Man (A)
5. Captain America: Civil War (B-)
6. Doctor Strange (A-)
7. Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 (A-)
8. Spider-Man: Homecoming (A)
9. Thor: Ragnarok (A)
10. Ant-Man and the Wasp(A)
11. Avengers: Infinity War (B)
12. Avengers: Endgame (A-)
13. Spider-Man: Far From Home (A)

This is mostly in chronological order, except #10 and #11, which kind of happen simultaneously. I think for people who haven’t seen anything after Thor: Ragnarok, the story is much more effective if Ant-Man and the Wasp comes next, before Avengers: Infinity War.

If you want to fill in just a few more pieces of the story, add:

1. Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. Season 1 (after the first two movies)
2. Captain America: The Winter Soldier (before #5)
3. Avengers: Age of Ultron (before #9)

Anything else is up to your individual tastes. It might even be worthwhile to save the other movies until after you’ve gone through these essentials. You’ll get enough samples of other characters that you can track down just the heroes that sparked your interest.

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Marvel Reviews: MCU Network TV Shows

Marvel started making MCU TV shows after Phase 2 began to help fill out the needs of the hardcore fans. I’d argue that there’s a distinct difference in quality and focus between the broadcast shows as a group and the Netflix shows. This post focuses on the shows that appeared on ABC, all of which are now finished.

Full explanation of my ranking system is here. Summary: C is average, A/B is recommended, D is badly made, F is something to avoid.

Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.

Rating: B

The first official MCU TV series is actually pretty good, although it starts off pretty meh. One of the good points is that there’s more of a Marvel feel to it than some other series, with superscience, altered humans, inhumans, and aliens. Another good point is that it interacts well with the films: when Winter Soldier reveals the infiltration by Hydra, that affects the TV series as well, and after Age of Ultron and Civil War, the Segovia Accords become a big deal. Not to mention that, aside from the obvious crossover character of Agent Coulson, there’s some cameos of Agent Carter and Nick Fury, as well as one episode about Lady Sif.

On the negative side, some of the story arcs aren’t as good as others. They keep finding ways to keep the Hydra traitor character on the show well past the point of reason, and Coulson (who begins the show having been mysteriously resurrected) dies and returns again so many times it starts getting absurd. I did not enjoy the whole Framework/LMU storyline much, or the Sarge material. The trip to the future lasted a little longer than I would have preferred and started to drag a bit.

I somehow missed the final season of the series. I was waiting for it, but somehow missed the announcement that it was back, then started hearing references to the series being finished. By the time I’d heard about it, none of the episodes were available for free. As of this writing, I still haven’t seen them, although I know they are coming to Netflix, so I will finally get my chance. I do know that they deal with time travel (again) and revive some characters from the Agent Carter series, so I’m looking forward to it.

Agent Carter

Rating: B

Peggy Carter is a character from the first Captain America movie. The series is set after the war, with Cap presumed dead because no one knows he’s been frozen alive. So, it’s got a nice period look, has action, but in the typical TV style instead of over-the-top blockbuster style, focuses on secret agent stuff, and has a lot of weird science. Honestly, I like it more than Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D., even if technically they are about the same in quality.

Carter is an interesting character, but the series also has Howard Stark, and not the somewhat stodgy version from the Iron Man or Avengers movies, but the flamboyant one from the '40s. His butler, Jarvis, is also an entertaining addition.

Although I recommend tracking this down because it’s well made, you will probably also want to watch this series before watching the last season of Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.

The Inhumans

Rating: C

I had high hopes when I heard there was an Inhumans series, but found out almost immediately afterwards that it had already come and gone before I’d even found out about it. It lasted only one season.

I still wanted to track it down, because I had bought the first issue of their stand-alone comic title when it came out and kind of liked the weirdness of it all. I was also comforted by the fact that S.H.I.E.L.D. did a pretty good job laying down the lore of the Inhumans in preparation for their main series.

And… it was OK, but since Medusa has her powers taken away almost immediately, and Karnak soon after, and Black Bolt can’t really use his powers, and Crystal doesn’t seem to do much… well, it’s pretty disappointing. Nobody does anything interesting. It’s mostly about splitting the party and having each group travel back and forth across the island, changing course midway a couple times, like a much less entertaining version of Lost. I can only give this series an average rating. Watch it if you have some time to kill, or are desperate for those few rare moments when they actually do something interesting.

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Marvel Reviews: MCU Phase 3B

I covered the first six Phase 3 Marvel Cinematic Universe movies (Civil War through Black Panther) in the previous post. This follow-up covers Infinity War, Endgame, and everything in between, as well as one movie that happens after Endgame.

Full explanation of my ranking system is here. Summary: C is average, A/B is recommended, D is badly made, F is something to avoid.

Avengers: Infinity War

Rating: B

The Avengers movies by now have established a pattern that they are going to have huge battles with thousands of things flying around the screen, so although I considered giving Infinity War a minus for all the busy battle scenes, I thought “Why bother? We knew they were going to throw absolutely everything they had added up to this point, except for the TV stuff they try to ignore.”

This penultimate Avengers movie thus isn’t as good as it could have been. I think it’s good enough and has enough twists and stand-out scenes to merit a recommendation, but I can’t give it an A because it’s just a good superhero movie, not a great one. It doesn’t take much of what they learned in the last couple A-rating films and use it effectively. It does have some very funny scenes, mainly those with Thor and the Guardians. I think that deserves a B, at least.

Ant-Man and the Wasp

Rating: A

This follow-up to the first Ant-Man movie has a lot of the same feel that made that one great. The scenes about his relationship with his kid are even more touching and help make his connection feel real. There is maybe a little more emphasis on prosaic action movie fights, but there’s still enough of the crazy originality we saw in the first movie. It did still try to copy the heist format of the first, but… well, since it works, maybe that’s the best fit for Ant-Man? I like the movie a lot.

Captain Marvel

Rating: B

I wanted to like Captain Marvel more. It does have a little bit of humor, and kind of fills in more detail on what’s going on off-planet, especially in Kree society (although I have to say I’m not entirely sure they don’t completely change the Kree every time they include them in a movie or TV show.) It’s a pretty solid adventure/thriller flick, but doesn’t really rise to the same level as some of the other films.

One thing in particular annoyed me: the way Captain Marvel cracks jokes after she passes her final crisis and comes into her full powers. Usually, wise-cracking superheroes crack jokes up until they come up against their “boss battle”, then stop as things get serious and they get their asses kicked, not cracking many jokes until after they reach deep in themselves to push through the crisis and defeat the villain. Maybe that’s too much of a cliché. But here, Captain Marvel reaches deep into herself, surpasses her near defeat… and then kicks peoples asses for a very long time while she openly mocks them for being unable to touch her. That just makes Captain Marvel sound like a jerk. Not very heroic at all. It reminded me of the famous “Superman is a dick” memes.

It’s still probably worth watching for its position within the ongoing MCU story, as long as you can ignore the weirdly unheroic climax.

Avengers: Endgame

Rating: A-

I was torn between a B+ and an A- for this. I feel it’s overly long, and of course it’s got those busy parts most superhero movies have these days. But in the end, I decided that the first few scenes were very emotional, as were the later scenes of how people dealt with The Snap. (Question: How does the general populace know about The Snap? Did the surviving heroes do interviews and explain who Thanos is and what he did?)

In the end, I decided the time heist storyline and the reduced number of huge battles, compared to Infinity War, make this a way better film of the two-part story. Plus, it’s got Ant-Man again, and a good scene with the Ancient One.

Spider-Man: Far From Home

Rating: A

There are some confusing things about the start of Far From Home relating to the way The Snap and Unsnap are presented, but it does give us some information about the aftermath, which might suggest that undoing The Snap turned out to have just as chaotic an effect on global society as The Snap itself. But the main story is how Peter Parker deals with losing his mentor, Tony Stark, while growing a little closer to Happy.

Without giving away anything about the villain and the plot, I have to say one thing I admired about the movie is that it tricked me. I thought I knew the villain pretty well, and when they introduced him, I thought “Well, they have changed absolutely everything about him. I wonder if this new version is even going to work?” And then it turned out that no, they hadn’t changed as much as they pretended. It was all a clever sleight of hand – which, given the villain in question, is very fitting.

That surprise, plus the usual good script I am now expecting from MCU Spider-Man movies and the funny dialogue, make this another of my favorite MCU films.

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Marvel Reviews: MCU Phase 3A

Phase 3 of the Marvel Cinematic Universe begins with the Avengers breaking up, continues through the Infinity War, and ends with one film addressing its aftermath. It has almost twice as many films as either Phase 1 or Phase 2, so I will be splitting the reviews across two posts.

Full explanation of my ranking system is here. Summary: C is average, A/B is recommended, D is badly made, F is something to avoid.

Captain America: Civil War

Rating: B-

Not much to say here. It’s a solid entry, does suffer from getting a little bit “busy” in the battle scenes, but it does include a tiny bit of Ant-Man influence to break it up. The plot is kind of generic and ignorable, but the themes are more important. It’s a decent enough movie, not as good as the first Captain America movie, but maybe better than the second? I still recommend it even if you don’t like slugfests because it does set up a lot of stuff that happens in the future.

Doctor Strange

Rating: A-

I have to explain first that I am very into Doctor Strange. He’s pretty much my favorite comic book character. I have a few of the Marvel Premiere issues, the complete run of Doctor Strange vol. 2, and Strange Tales vol. 2, two graphic novels, and scattered other issues, so I made more of an effort to collect Doctor Strange and delve into his backstory than any other comic.

I waited a long time for a Doctor Strange movie done right, especially after the mediocre TV movie in the '70s. It’s the only MCU movie I actually saw in the theater, and it did not disappoint. I could nitpick stuff that doesn’t match the comics (or matches the wrong comics,) but I’m very happy overall. Probably my favorite superhero movie ever. But if I’m going to rate it honestly, it does get kind of busy in some of the battle scenes.

One thing I have to call out: pretty much every standard superhero movie has the hero win basically by finding the one way they can outslug or outzap the villain. Doctor Strange takes an entirely different approach: he can’t win against Dormammu, but finds a way to win without violating his principal of not doing harm (well, kind of… but he doesn’t harm anyone directly.) This is what I want to see in a superhero movie.

Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2

Rating: A-

I may like this more than the first movie, even though I rate them the same. Again, it doesn’t get a full A because of the messy, overwhelming battle choreography, which I suspect has a lot to do with why I forget huge chunks of some of the Marvel movies. But the dialogue is still very funny, and GG v2 has a deeper emotional tone to it. Definitely recommend.

Spider-Man: Homecoming

Rating: A

I haven’t seen every Spider-Man movie since they started making Spider-Man live-action theatrical movies, but I haven’t been impressed with most of them. But this one is very good. The actor isn’t a teen, but he’s closer to a teen than any of the others I recall. The script is excellent, very funny. They skipped the origin story, which we’re tired of seeing and all know anyways. His relationship with Iron Man might not have been canon in the comics, but it makes total sense in the context of the MCU. This version of Peter Parker basically feels more like Peter Parker than any other version I’ve seen, despite any deviations from the comics I’ve read.

I can’t think of a single flaw with this movie.

Thor: Ragnarok

Rating: A

Since the previous Thor movies were in some cases a let-down, I was not expecting to like this one so much. But then, two things happened: the MCU people noticed that people liked the funnier Marvel movie more than the serious ones, and they hired Taika Waititi. I haven’t seen much of his work, but I’ve liked all that I’ve seen, with the exception of Eagle vs. Shark. This is certainly the best Thor movie so far, and stands out as one of the best movies in the MCU.

Black Panther

Rating: B

Black Panther has some pretty good moments and has some strong messages about responsibility as a hero and as a nation, as well as some good visuals. Also, I have to admit that the idea of secret nations or cities has always appealed to me, so this movie kind of lures me in with that. But under that façade, it’s just a standard action movie, although I have to admit it’s better at the action than some of the other MCU entries. People who like punchy heroes more than I do should consider watching Black Panther.

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Marvel Reviews: MCU Phase II

Phase 2 of the Marvel Cinematic Universe begins after the world witnesses a team of superheroes save Earth from a full-blown alien invasion and ends before that team breaks up.

Full explanation of my ranking system is here. Summary: C is average, A/B is recommended, D is badly made, F is something to avoid.

Iron Man 3

Rating: C+

This has an exceptionally slow build and is a bit tedious at first. Eventually, there’s some action, but it turns into that shaky-cam kind of stuff, not as bad as a Michael Bay movie, because it’s not continuous, so that’s a plus, I guess.

But the plot? I’m watching it again for the third time, because although I could eventually remember the villain was The Mandarin and there were exploding G.I.s, and one or two twists along the way, and also Stark spends most of the movie not being Iron Man, but the actual plot? I couldn’t remember what the point of all the action was supposed to be. Turns out it’s some overly complicated plan, which must be defeated by blowing up as much stuff as possible!

Still, instead of marking it down for its flaws, I’m marking it up, because the examination of Stark’s PTSD after the alien invasion of the first Avengers movie was pretty well done and actually built on previous movies, instead of being just a dull set-up for future movies. Also, some of the dialogue is hilarious. It’s not vital to watch, but might be enjoyable.

Thor: The Dark World

Rating: B-

I know this is considered by many to be the worst of the Thor movies. But on a second watch, I decided it’s better than the first: not as badly lit, not as slow moving at the beginning. The comic relief character from the first movie, Darcy, has better, funnier moments.

It’s still got problems. After about a third of the way in, the plot just becomes a cliché end-of-the-world plot with a “we’ve got to do the thing at the right time while the hero fights the bad guy” ending. The battle scenes in Asgard suffer from what I call a “busy” look, where there’s a whole lot of CGI elements just swirling around in every direction, smashing into things or exploding, making it hard to focus on any one thing or figure out what is going on. This happens in some of the other movies, too, and I have the sneaking suspicion that it’s things like this that cause me to forget huge chunks of some of the duller MCU movies a day or two after I watch them.

Nevertheless, I’d say The Dark World is at least a step above the first Thor movie. If you’re focusing on movies rated B or above, though, you could maybe skip this one if you’re pressed for time.

Captain America: The Winter Soldier

Rating: B-

I did like The Winter Soldier better than I expected, but I couldn’t give it as high a rating as the first Captain America movie. The fight sequences are mostly gymnastics and car crashes rather than standard CGI swarms, but combined with increased use of shaky cam to make the scenes “exciting”, they are just chaotic enough that I sometimes forget what actually happened. I’ve seen it three times now, and I usually can’t remember what happened beyond the central conflict between Cap and the Winter Soldier himself until I watch a few minutes and say “Oh, yeah, this is the one about HYDRA.”

Still, despite this flaw, the plot is compelling enough to keep me interested, although my interests sags in a couple spots. A pretty good movie nonetheless, and probably even more enjoyable for those more into punchy-kicky action thrillers.

Guardians of the Galaxy

Rating: A-

I did not know who the Guardians of the Galaxy were. Or rather, I had heard the name before, since I had some comic (Avengers, maybe?) where they had appeared as part of a storyline… except it wasn’t them. It was an older team of space-faring adventurers that used the same name. I remember the Earthman from the team was an astronaut with an atomic-powered heart, and there was an extremely wide guy from a Jovian satelllite, and an alien from Alpha Centauri with a shark fin on his head, and at least one other member I don’t recall.

But this team turned out to be fine. Dialogue is very funny, plot is pretty good, even if it gets muddied in places. Main flaw is that it’s got some of those “busy” moments I’ve been complaining about. Still, it’s definitely recommended.

Avengers: Age of Ultron

Rating: B-

You pretty much have to watch Age of Ultron, because this is where the incident in Sokovia occurs that results in the Sokovia Accords, which influences what happens in a couple other movies and shows. I don’t like it a whole lot, and at first was going to give it a rating in the C range, but on a rewatch, I decided it was better than that. And hey, I kind of liked The Vision as a kid, and he’s in this, even if he doesn’t really do that much.

The flaw with Age of Ultron is that whole “busy” factor I keep harping about. Lots of scenes with lots of CGI stuff just flying around everywhere. And of course in this case, it’s deliberate, because the filmmakers decided that if Ultron’s gimmick is that he replicates himself, he should replicate himself A HUGE AMOUNT. The screen should be filled with Ultrons. I think they could have been trimmed back a bit and still leave Ultron as a credible threat.

Ant-Man

Rating: A

I know it sounds crazy, but I think Ant-Man is the best film in Phase 2 of the MCU. Yeah, the hero no one seems to care about, who has minimal interaction with the rest of the franchise (none at all, in Phase 2.) And he’s not really fighting crime or invaders here, he’s essentially part of an intellectual property dispute.

And it’s a heist movie. I’m not fond of heist movies at all, but I love this one. First, it’s a really funny movie. It’s got a character that doesn’t seem the same as all the other superheroes; he’s more roguish, not to the same extreme as Starlord, certainly not as arrogant, but he’s not in the superhero biz for the same reasons as others.

Second, the visuals, in particular the fight scenes, are great. Yeah, it gets punchy in places… but this kind of punchy looks completely different from the standard kind of punchy, because of all the rapid changes of scale. The fact that some of the action sequences are happening on a toy train, and the camera pulls back so that we can see what this “climatic” battle really looks like if you’re human sized instead of ant-sized, makes it all the better.

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Marvel RiffTrax Reviews

I started my Marvel Cinematic Universe reviews with Phase 1. But here’s a surprise! I also bought three RiffTrax “Just the Jokes” commentary tracks for Phase 1 movies!

RiffTrax, for those who don’t know, is the company founded by Mike Nelson, one of the former “human” hosts of Mystery Science Theater 3000. He is joined by other MST3k colleagues, Bill Corbett (the second Crow) and Kevin Murphy (the second Tom Servo) as they make jokes about what’s happening in various movies. For big-name Hollywood movies that they would never be allowed to release modified copies of, they record just an audio track, called “Just the Jokes”, which you sync with the movie by hand or with the aid of their mobile app.

In my personal experience with these commentary tracks, I found that I have to adjust them a tiny bit one way or the other a couple times in the first 20 or 30 minutes to get them right, but afterwards they stay in sync. For manual sync, I do this by keeping one hand on the video remote and one near the computer so that I can pause and unpause whichever one is too far ahead.

This is a review of three of those “Just the Joke” tracks. Full explanation of my ranking system is here. Summary: C is average, A/B is recommended, D is badly made, F is something to avoid.

Iron Man

Rating: B

Like the movie it’s paired with, the Iron Man “Just the Jokes” riff track starts off a bit shaky, and a couple of the jokes seem in poor taste. But starts getting funnier fast, around the time they start making fun of Keanu Reeves. (No, really. Keanu Reeves.) The fake character names they come up with (like “Cheesely”) make me snort every time. I could have done without the decision midway through the movie to make jokes about Gwyneth Paltrow’s character being stupid, though. Despite that, it’s a pretty decent riff track.

Favorite lines:

“That would be handy on the set of ‘The View’.”
“Hardly seems like the time, Whiplash One, but have tried upping your fiber intake?”
“Boy, she’s got a shrill voice.”

Thor

Rating: C+

Since the movie doesn’t have much to work with for a while, the jokes take a while to get good. It’s mostly just jokes about the lighting and some pop culture references for a while. The jokes start getting funnier when we get to the horse jokes. After that point, it’s stretches of jokes worth a chuckle or two sprinkled with some funnier bits. Enjoyable, but not necessarily something I’d say people need to hear.

One thing to remember about Marvel RiffTrax tracks: just as MCU movies have scenes after the credits, RiffTrax has jokes to match. Don’t quit early even if the track is silent or, as in this one, a robot is screeching a song (which turns out to be one of the funniest bits about this track.)

Favorite lines:

“Ah yes, the traditional Asgardian ‘stop and get off your horse 100 yards before you’re there’.”
“TV’s ‘My Two Dads’ soars across the big screen!”

Captain America: The First Avenger

Rating: B+

Starts off much better than the previous two, with more laugh-out-loud lines early on that keep coming faster and faster as the movie continues. If you want to try a RiffTrax track for an MCU movie, but can only afford one, this is the one you should get. (Well, of the first three. Haven’t bought others.)

Favorite lines:

“Thank you! Who’s ready for some… Puppetry of the Penis?”
“Thanks to the serum, any excrement inside him will be far greater than any before!”
“Blu-Ray technology was deadly back in the early days!”
“Years later, the villagers below would talk of the day a delicious meat sauce rained from the sky.”

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Marvel Reviews: MCU Phase I

Time to start reviewing the Marvel Cinematic Universe. At the time of this writing, I’ve watched every MCU movie and series, excluding animated material, with the exception of The Punisher Season 2 and the final season of Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. A new series, Helstrom, will drop later this month.

I decided to bundle the film reviews, sorting them by Phase. Between each Phase will be a review covering shows that were released around that time. There will be a couple surprise extra reviews.

Full explanation of my ranking system is here. Summary: C is average, A/B is recommended, D is badly made, F is something to avoid.

Iron Man

Rating: B
Shaky Start, Steady after 25% Mark

I’m not completely thrilled with this, but the fight scenes are restrained, compared to some other superhero films, even if a little pervy about explosions. It has a good opening scene, but the rest of the film’s first quarter bounces up and down in terms of quality. Eventually, the movie settles into a steady pace. Not too special, in terms of plot, but a few character moments stand out compared to other superhero portrayals. A decent beginning to Phase 1.

The Incredible Hulk

Rating: C

Couldn’t find a way to watch this a second (third?) time, and it’s one of those movies I think I haven’t seen, but it turns out I did. Checked out the Honest Trailer for this and verified that yeah, I’ve seen it. It’s just nothing special. Watch it if you absolutely have to watch everything, but don’t worry about it if you have other stuff to do.

Iron Man 2

Rating: C

I just watched this a month or two ago, and I still had to check out the Honest Trailer for this as well. Couldn’t remember if this was the one about the guy with the whip, or the other guy.

It was the one with the whip.

Basically, same advice as for Hulk.

Thor

Rating: C-
Slow Moving Throughout

I liked Thor when I was a kid, because I was into Norse mythology and thought it was cool that Marvel had a comic influenced by it. Even liked Marvel’s take as an adult, bought a limited series of Baldur the Brave, although I’ve forgotten the story now.

But maybe it wasn’t as good as I remember, if I were to use this movie as a guide. The movie looks great design wise, although the meaningless use of tilted camera shots lowers the quality. The real problem is that most of the action is tedious. It just plods along without real excitement. There are hints of some good stuff from the future of the Thor franchise, but I think it’s easily skippable.

Captain America: The First Avenger

Rating: B

For something that’s clearly more on the “punchy” end of the superhero spectrum, I actually liked this the most of the Phase 1 movies before The Avengers. I think there’s a couple reasons for this:

1. A punchy hero as basically special ops during WWII actually makes more sense than many other punchy hero concepts.
2. I have kind of always liked Cap’s pure morality more than grimdark troubled superheroes.
3. There’s something just perfect about actual Nazis as villains. Especially Nazis with superweapons.

Another reason why I might like this despite it being about a punchy superhero is that there aren’t all that many punchy/shooty scenes. The movie really dives into the origin story, so there’s a heavier focus on his motivation, his pre-Cap army training, and the process of becoming famous as a symbol way before he actually gets to fight Nazis. And aside from Cap’s big rescue operation and the final confrontation, most of his career is only hinted at – an odd way to use a montage, but there you go. So if you find origin stories too boring, take that into account.

The Avengers

Rating: B-
Shaky During Big Battle

I think I’m going to go with a B- instead of a C+ for the first Avengers movie because there’s quite a lot I like about it, It just turns into a cloud of CGI nonsense during large chunks of the big battle scene. This is a complaint you’re going to see a lot from me: I don’t like “busy” scenes with lots of stuff flying in every direction that you can’t quite focus on. I prefer the moments where you can see a clear interaction between characters and clear decision points.

I definitely recommend this movie if you are planning on trying out the Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. TV series.

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